Details of the Heart.

I promised myself that when I started a blog, I would not post something unless I actually had something to say. I tend to spend 10 minutes or so writing an entry, and the words usually flow like water. If I sit at the computer, attempting to muster up something of worth, that’s a good sign that I should probably stop altogether. Since I last posted, several “big things”have occurred. My husband and I found out where we matched on Friday, his twin sister got married on Saturday, and I had surgery on Monday morning. While these three events were very different, with varying emotions and activities, they each had much in common as well. The thread that ties them together is this: God was in the details. We often pay more attention to the mountaintop moments in our lives; but God graciously allowed me to focus on the details of His provision in these similar albeit different situations.
Match Day: a day we had prayed over, wrestled with, and thought about for months. This was a day that determined where Hugh and I will live for at least the next three years. We felt strongly called to put UAB (Birmingham) first; but a small envelope would determine where God intended us to be. When Hugh’s name got called to the front to pick up his letter, I had a moment of sheer peace. I knew that whatever was in that envelope, God was responsible, and He was up to something. I did not feel anything but confidence in wherever He had chosen for us. This moment lasted a couple seconds, and I could have missed it with all that was going on around us. I am thankful that God caused me to take a step back and realize how far He had gotten my heart in the midst of this process. A detail to some; a precious amount of molding for me.
The wedding: nothing can bring a bride to tears more than reading a letter from her husband-to-be. Watching Hugh’s sister’s eyes well up with tears as she read the sentiments from her groom silently left me reflecting on why words on a page would cause us to show such strong emotion. I don’t know what was in the letter, but I do know one thing: these tears were tears of joy, caused by a reminder that the bride was unconditionally and genuinely loved by the one she longed for. What a glorious reflection of the daily reminder Jesus gives us as Christians! Every sunset that rises, each morning that we wake up with another breath, is an assurance that He chose us, He loves us, and He has a plan for us that very day. It took the bride a couple minutes max to read this letter; but the lesson learned was imprinted on my heart. A detail to some; a precious amount of molding for me.
The surgery: A week after getting home from Bangladesh, some pain in what felt like my ovaries would not go away. A doctor’s visit determined that I had a rare type of cyst called a dermoid on my right ovary. The cyst would not go away on its own, and could grow. If the cyst torsed (ruptured or twisted), emergency surgery would be required and the ovary would need to be removed. As the ob/gyn eloquently stated, “It’s got to come out”. There were so many blessings involved in the process. The fact that I had quit my job prior to Bangladesh made more sense than ever, because recovery time was going to be at least a couple weeks. Speaking of Bangladesh, what a blessing it was that the cyst was not causing me pain while out of the country; but that God allowed us to find it before it had gotten extremely large. God kept giving me reminders that He was over this surgery and that He was going to take care of me. The biggest fear I had concerning the surgery was the IV beforehand. (No, not the incisions during or pain after. The IV. Silly, no?) When I got to the hospital Monday morning, I quickly discovered that the nurse doing my pre-op work was a Christian. I expressed my fears to her, and she reminded me scriptures of God’s faithfulness and how we should not fear throughout the whole process. A small detail to some, a precious amount of molding to me.
As I sit here 5 days later, trying to patiently trust my body with the healing process that already feels too slow, God continues to whisper to me the importance of paying attention to His details. Sure, today holds a lot of couch laying and fluid drinking, but He is up to something. The same is true for you. No matter what your day holds, if the sun rose and you are still breathing, He has some details waiting for you. Luke 12:7 reminds us that He knows each and every hair on our heads, and that we are worth more than many sparrows. As I listen to the birds chirping, I know that He is in all the tiny instances in all of our days. Look around and then look within. He is speaking.

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