I have been riding in the same car for about 15 months now. I was thrown in suddenly, given no directions and no destination. There have been detours and obstacles along the way; at points I have been in standstill traffic. This week, we received a probable destination, however the directions remain hidden. It would be as if you were a cab driver and a person hopped into your car and said, “I think I’m going to this particular restaurant; but there’s a possibility I am headed somewhere else.” As the driver, what do you do in that situation? How do you follow one path without knowing with certainty that you are heading the right way? Furthermore, how do you keep driving toward that destination, knowing that you may never know if you are going where you need to go? Jesus.
If this sounds muddy, rest assured it is. I have been so tempted to not share this portion of our journey because it feels just that, vague. This roller coaster of a ride has me dizzy and confused, but this I know: God is not a God of confusion. He is sovereign and He is working. He is in the details. Sometimes, we have to hold fast to the thing we do know in the midst of the things we don’t. And, we must always, always remember that while things may feel uncertain and unknown from this angle, the Lord is driving the cars of each of our lives and He is most aware of the directions. He is writing them. Beyond that, while we may have many stops along at he way, our destination is always Him. So here I stand, open hands.
Open hands. A vulnerable posture to take on, no matter the situation. When we open our hands to something, we are trusting that whatever is coming is good. At the end of last week, I opened my hands to what we thought was going to be our answer: a form of mitochondrial disease that is neurodegenerative and fatal at a young age. I asked God to do the impossible yet again: unravel my clinched fists and open them up to the plan He had in front of us. As He always does, He did the unthinkable and brought my heart to a position of rest in light of His plans. I was ready to praise Him in this new knowledge. And then, the call.
Genetics is complicated and man is just that, man. After further research on the genetic report, they had determined it was not probable that mitochondrial disease was our answer, yet another mutation was clearly involved. They discussed the findings with me and explained why it had not stood out to them from the get-go: mainly because it is extremely rare and often lethal. Hugh and I are carriers and the girls have the mutations required, so the question is not do they have this syndrome but rather how affected are they and and is this our full answer. More testing, more possible outcomes opened up. Open hands.
The cross. Jesus walked the road to Calvary and willingly opened His hands to God’s plans for Him, knowing that He would bring good. He who opened His arms and nailed Himself to the cross- can I not open my hands to what He brings?
“You open Your hand; You satisfy the desire of every living thing.”- Psalm 145:16
I believe this. I believe this because I have seen Him do this in all circumstances and all seasons thus far. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” Yes. While it may seem muddy to me, may have complicated things in my eyes and the eyes of man, God is a God of order and He is writing this story, yours and mine, intentionally and joyfully. He is not shaken and we do not intend to be either. The God who made man out of dust, who spit in the mud and brought sight to the blind, He is using our mud and muck to magnify His name and show His power. The One who gave us from His hand double blessing for all our sins, (Isaiah 40:2), can we not trust Him even when His doings are beyond our understanding? Even when it seems dark, is that not His hand covering us and protecting us in ways we cannot yet comprehend but will one day understand? (Acts 13:11). He hides us in the cleft of His mercies, and no one can snatch us out of His hand. (John 10:29). So, whether we are receiving that which is known or that which is foreign, we must keep our hands open wide to ALL the gifts He wishes to bestow to us. He can be trusted in all things.
So, our hands remain open. We take these new findings with open arms and hopeful hearts, knowing that His hand is guiding us through it and that we don’t necessarily need directions when we know who is driving the car and we know His plans are good. Friends, I beg of you to open your hands to whatever the Lord has brought you today. I plead with you to see His goodness in it all, even when you cannot understand. He is good and He ravishes His love on us in all things. That which was unexpected to you was planned before the beginning of time by Him that formed you and loved you enough to rescue you from that which you could have never saved yourself from. Let’s seek His strength today as we open our hearts and our hands to His story. He is writing this chapter; yes, even this.
“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”- Psalm 118:24