I woke up Monday morning feeling undeniably burdened. As I sat with the Lord, praying and soaking in His Word, I just could not feel peaceful.
Hugh and I have only been able to leave the girls two (now three) times overnight. Because of their feeding difficulties, even those who have been around them the most struggle to keep them nourished well. Their unusual sleep patterns are also hard to understand how to handle unless you have been around them for days at a time. My mom has become quite the servant in our lives, and my dad has sacrificed having his wife around during the week as much. They lay down their normal routine and mom comes and simply serves in whatever way Hugh and I ask her to. She doesn’t come with an agenda; she comes with an open heart to love on our family in the ways that we need most. A seemingly little thing turned big in our hearts.
That being said, when Hugh planned a surprise night away, excited was an understatement. As I was packing on Friday night, Bailey Grace began to have some unusual neurological behavior. I wanted to ignore it, but it was undeniable. I called Hugh, and he simply said, “We are going”.
So, go we did. I prayed the whole way there that she would begin to act normally, because I knew we would not leave her unless she was; and when we woke up Saturday morning, she was herself once again. A little thing turned big in my heart.
Hugh and I had an absolute blast. He had planned so many of my favorite things; and the outdoors brought a unique refreshment to my soul. When we arrived home on Sunday, Bailey Grace was back to “something’s wrong” mode. We drove back to Birmingham, and by Monday morning, it was clear this unrest in my heart was a mother’s intuition.
“This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.”- 1 Corinthians 4:1
Oftentimes, there are seasons of life where we become needier than usual. Those around us love us well, and then the season is over. In our situation, the love and serving is needed more often than not. At times, it is uncomfortable to be loved this big. When we were admitted, a part of me did not even want to let anyone know. It was like I was determining that our family had been loved on enough and that we needed to do this one on our own. But God.
He always makes sure His children are cared for. And, in our situation, it is all those seemingly small things that add up to something really big.
All these things matter immensely. When you are walking through an unexpected twist in the story, it is those things that are the very hands, feet, and heart of the Father. Today, I want to encourage you that what you are doing matters. The love you are sharing, the little things you are doing, it is all adding up to something big in someone’s weary soul.
We are home today, and the lack of sleep combined with the emotional turmoil of the hospital always leaves me feeling fuzzy. Yet God. He continues to leave me little love notes; reminders that His love never runs dry and that He will never stop providing and carrying our family. I am a steward of the mysteries of God , yet the mysteries themselves are His. So, we trust. And, we move forward with open hands and open hearts to whatever He sees fit for the day; bodies and minds weary yet souls being renewed each day.
Friends: the love you share matters. Whatever you are walking through today matters. These trials will one day be revealed as little; yet the love we give will be known as the big. May we pray to have eyes to see with eternal eyes, loving large all the way. He is faithful.